I am playing with myself .

I know it is just a mere play

And such a simple play has taken me to the real hell.

I m silent but screaming in silence and no one hears me but myself.

Oh, reformer of hearts and minds

Director of day and night

Transformer of conditions

change ours to the best in accordance with your wil.

Lst year had many ups and down to me. Alltogether I hate it.

some times I wont fit in myself. do you know what I mean?

 I cant fit in myself ...

But some times I am being lost in my spacious,dark world. these days has not occured to me up to now.

Its a painful sense that you dont ever wait, you arenot looking forward to the next moment.

who am I? didnt u see me? If you see me pls tell him i miss for him alot .i implore him to come back. tel him i didnt know the life can be so tasteless. tell him... .

It was 130 days ago that it happened to me.

I went to rock climbing and what a rock climbing!

I was abseiling for 6 years and it was as ordinary as playing a chess for me but that day….

Yes I fell off from the top of that rock and now after 4 months still its side effects play with me.

Many of my friends who are seeing me think everything has passed successfully but this is a world away from the real fact which I live with that every moment.

My firm personality has been broken and I myself know what kind of changes has occurred.

Fortunately no one understands my change and treat me like before.

I know  that I’m not the former guy I was and although I’m trying hardly but the more I try the less I gain.

I keep on my attempt to get to my golden days.

We have come to promote the cost of our life rather than live at any cost. 

FINALLY A WHITE HAIR EMERGED ON MY HEAD

AND I AM SURE THE NEXT ARE GROWING FAST

AND ALL THESE ARE INESCAPABLE

DEATH. DONT PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH ME

I HAVE RECOGNISED YOU

COME AND CATCH ME

Look at your pity soul.

It breaths.move your self and dont let it to be frozen.

Live and Live.

It’s too long my ink has been dried.

I didn’t stop writing. I just preferred to hold my tongue.

I really miss for my former bitter days that I was feeling mere loneliness.

Crying was a sedative drug for me.

I don’t understand how they realize I am not my self.

Although I treated normally .

If there is an utterly darkness but a very soft moonlight has torched the night and makes the life as sweet as possible.

All windows were blocked with dark bricks .

The poor flowers are glazing at each other disappointedly.

I have leant against wall while deep in thought.

A candle flame has drawn my bent appearance on the wall.

The only noisy thing is silence which narrates my miserably story.

How can I solve others problem when I am not able to solve my own?

This utterly dark night will pass

Maybe there is some wrong with our eyes and there is not any night at all.

Mercy Killing

You have taken me to the top of building. instead of enjoying the fresh air and seeing the beautiful scenes you ask me to push you down!

Let's pass this tricky part of life and get to the bright days. I implore you don’t be so disappointed and don’t let it happen to you. You are my dear LOVE and  I will stay in this love to death. IS THAT CLEAR!!!

Life is Like a Piano...



Life is Like a Piano...




white keys represent happiness and black keys for sorrow



but only when you go through all the keys,



you can experience the Music of Life

Tears have found their ways. How soon my home was immersed.

Tears are very hot. My heart volcano has erupted. It’s a difficult test or in simple terms an ordeal. I am not sure to over come it successfully.

My dear God ,  I beg you to put  out my fire

 He put his hand on my shoulder. I had stood upright, fixed my eyes on his green pupils .he murmured under his teeth and I felt tears of happiness are to run down his cheeks but he kept cool and let me kiss him. Then he took me to show the youth shoots of trees. I felt those fresh leaves and whatever plants that are there are my father's new born children. I didn’t know my father is so sensitive until he touched an apricot brunch very softly and explained me about the importance of digging the soil in details. As a matter of fact I had just known my father.

My share of prosperity remained self deceiving that culminate in vacant hopes.

All I need is just a mirror to look at ,to escape from my loneliness , to talk to my self ,to break its sorrowful images.

I am accused of knowing more!

I waited for spring and saw all my dreams at it.

Now ,I understand that being in fall with wishes is extremly better than in a spring which has no swallow.

Its not easy so as to understand each other perfectly.

I must learn more lessons to over come such a complicated life.

Its hard to understand you beacuse I have not known you yet.

Need I say more ?!

Maybe I don't tell you every thing, but my actions along with my eyes speak louder than words.

I am sure our friendliness (death and me) doesn’t culminate in a tragedy tale.

When he sits by us I feel his warmness. He doesn’t ever speak. He just looks then selects some one that if I were, I wouldn’t do in a million of year .If you knew him as I did you wouldn’t afraid of. At least you can substitute your fear that some thing more interesting looks forward you. This is neither a mere stupid justification nor a reassuring saying. It’s a potion which not every one deserves to drink it on the nick of time.  

Do you know? Some times I really wish my body got scrapped by my enemy while my head is up. Some times I want to get to the end and break the proud of death.

Death knows I don’t lie. Death isn’t my enemy. He is both rival and friend for me.

I want to have every thing as simple as possible.

Don’t disguise. Remove such a ridicules mask. It doesn’t look good on you.

Mind has many small scraps of mirror. They are the small pieces of mind features which must place at its correct position to reflect the real image of life. Maybe some of them have been put in a dark side from outset and don't ever find this opportunity to reflect their mere fact. On the other side, others reflect so clear that any eye isn't able to glaze at them directly. And here I depict them.  Accept my apologies if they harmed your soft sense.

Look and leap!

I was so proud.  Time, life and many other things shattered my pride.

Now like an old disabled man .all I can do is nothing but looking immovable.

Don’t call me disappointed. I am still  a still hill of hope . I have a volcano inside myself which looking forward time to erupt.

The life looks more beautiful. When I don make mistake life is beautiful.

Life isn’t easy nor soft, but its beauty. I can touch it. Disappointment is the dark side of human behavior.

As long as we are honest and good

As long as we are honest to each other

As long as we are useful for each other

We can be happy. This happiness is all the pleasure.

My Goddess, I thank u for all I have. the great moments give me energy and hard times revise me.  

You told me "sometimes a man tries hardly to gain a result. When he continues to his attempt, suddenly at the last moments a flash, a twinkle occurs and a penetration of hope will emerge and at this moment he will shed tears a tear drop of enthusiasm happiness".

I imagined myself as that man .To be honest I tried so much to gain at least a dime hope but what I got wasn’t something more than an nondurable smile or a premature optimism   which a cold wind came and took it away .I didn’t shed tears. I wish I could but I couldn’t cry. Do you know why?

Because I steel think I can reach the unavailable victory which runs away.

The frozen shadow of disappointment weighs over me and asks me to cry loudly at my loneness. I don’t stop trying so soon. Although my wish house is located in legends land, I am looking for its address.     

My love is a tinned love

Do you know what I mean?

Its not fresh nor free.

More than 20 days you should put your emotion ,words, and whatever you cant declare instantly into a can. Just because you fear lose them. I make them tinned between paper lines. Certainly I know its not as fresh as its proper time. You know eating the tinned fruit is not enjoyable .be care full not to harm your hands while opening.

Tonight, I am here

 Tomorrow I am there

But you are always here

I love you very much.